Beating Broomsticks
by confessions.of.katijane
Summary: KBOW? More like KAPOW. When Oliver cheats on Katie, Fred helps her get even. By destroying his favorite broomstick of course. Rating for language.


"Oliver Effing Andrew Effing Wood

"Oliver Effing Andrew Effing Wood!!" screamed Katie Bell at the top of her lungs, bounding down the stairs to the common room.

"Good evening, Kates," said Fred Weasley pleasantly, though wincing slighting at the magnitude of his friend's screams.

Katie rounded on Fred. "D'you know what that little fucker did??" she shouted.

"No," Fred said, unaffected, as he lowered the copy of the Daily Prophet he had been reading. "Do tell, though."

"He fucking came up with some shit about being too busy working to get onto Puddlemore to date me anymore, and guess what I just found in his fucking room?!"

"I'm going to side step wondering what you were doing in his room in the first place, along with your many uses of 'fuck', and ask what," Fred said, slightly amused at the antics of the small brunette in front of him.

"His fucking—yes I said fuck—acceptance letter for Puddlemore!! And _YOUR_ brother said he wasn't training at all—that he's out to Hogsmeade with CHO CHANGE!! The whore!"

"Sorry, who's the whore? Wood or Cho?"

"Ugh…both!" she yelled after thinking for a second. "Oh, I could just take that brand new broomstick of his and—"

She mangled up her hands, her face twisted in rage to demonstrate exactly what she would do with Wood's brand new broomstick.

"Hmm," Fred mused thoughtfully, stroking his chin. "Well we _are_ probably close to the only two people left in the castle with permission to be on the pitch since we both had that detention for McGonagall…"

Katie snorted. "_Your_ fault," she reminded him.

"Yes, well, here we are anyway…Kates…what do you say we play some quidditch with Wood's new broom? Some very _rough_ quidditch?"

Katie grinned evilly.

"_Perfect_."

XxX

"_Whoops_!" Katie yelled extremely sarcastically, as she purposely smacked the perfectly polished handle of the Nimbus 2002 against the goal post of the quidditch pitch. "How _clumsy _of me!"

She hit it again, scratching off a lot of the broom's varnish.

Fred watched, amused, with his hands in his pocket.

"Oh, I could just _kill_ him!" she growled again, shoving the broom directly into the turf with great force, causing the straws to bend at odd angles.

"KILL! KILL! KILL!" she yelled, slamming the broom to the ground and jumping on the handle repeatedly. "Damn this broom of iron! It won't damn break!"

Fred watched her futile efforts a little longer and then picked up his beater's bat.

"Kates," he said, handing her the instrument. Her eyes widened and she grabbed it greedily.

"Aha!"

With all her might, she swung the bat down, cracking the broom in several places. "Brilliant!"

She repeated this several more times, until she noticed Fred holding a pocket knife.

"For you, love," he said, grinning unabashedly now.

Katie was too filled with adrenaline to care. She grabbed it angrily and begun digging the blade across the handle in zig-zag motions, and then chopping off some of the straws at the end.

"Why don't you carve your name into the side?" Fred suggested, eyes brightening.

"Excellent idea!" Katie crowed, carving KATIE into the handle in jagged letters. "Now the bastard will know who and what he's dealing with!!"

"Yes, you're quite the force of nature," Fred agreed.

She berated the broomstick for another fifteen minutes, stripping off some of the bark, and finally spitting on the tail. She whipped out her wand and was ready to blast it apart when Fred firmly grabbed her wrist.

"I think that should be good, dearest," he said, amused. "Let's put it in the broomstick and leave Wood to find it."

"Okay," Katie agreed, pocketing her wand.

"That felt good," she said later, as the two headed back into the castle.

"I know," Fred said, smirking.

"Good idea, Fred."

"That's what I'm here for Kates."

"I wonder what he'll do when he sees it," she mused.

"Probably haul us in for dawn practices seven days a week until the end of the season."

"No! How will he know it was us?"

"You carved your name into it, Kates."

"Oh yeah. Bastard."

"Don't worry, though. If he does, I'll hex him into oblivion."

"Thanks, Fred."

"Or just hold him down and punch the daylights out of him."

"Thanks, Fred."

"Not a problem, Kates. I'm a man of iron."

"I just wish I could have done that to the broomstick that hangs between his legs."

"One step at a time, Kates," he said putting a firm arm around her and leading her through the castle doors. "One step at a time."


End file.
